


Prank Wars, Plaster casts and Painkillers

by OhhMyy



Series: Coming Back To Life. [21]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Arguing, F/M, Fluff, Injury, Language, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 01:07:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9795488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhhMyy/pseuds/OhhMyy
Summary: Because nothing says sensible decision like a prank war in a house full of heroes, assassins and Hulks.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for this being late! I'm uploading 2 installments in what I hope makes up for terrible neglect of this fic. Please leave feedback!

_“Do you remember back at the farm when you cling filmed the toilet and I retaliated by switching the sugar and the salt” Tony asks, entering her room without bothering to knock; she hears Clint shuffle in the vent above her bed, a noise that tells her he is both awake and listening. Tony glances up with a smirk that tells her he’s still not returned the marksman’s pants._

_“Yeah, we were very original as teenagers” She sighs; tired and cranky and not overly happy with him._

_“Obviously, but nobody expects those kind of pranks as adults because they’re so overdone” She feels her lip quirk up at the edge despite an attempt to remain neutral._

_“What’s your point?”_

_“Help me Clingfilm the doorways?”_

_“Which doorways?”_

_“All of them”_

_“You want to Clingfilm the doorways in a house full of angry assassins?” She asks, disbelieving but the utterly childish grin he’s sporting tells her that he’s not kidding._

_“Yes”_

_“This is the stupidest thing you’ve ever asked me to do Stark…of course I’m in”_

 

It’s the cupboards sticking shut that tells her Tony has roped Peter into helping with the sudden, unannounced and expectedly chaotic prank war going on within the tower. She sighs, trying again to pull the cupboard open, stomach rumbling. It doesn’t budge and she lets out an unhappy whimper as she gives up.

It was, rather surprisingly, Vision who started the aforementioned war; moving Thor’s hammer casually to a safer location when the God had left it in the laundry room. Said location happened to be on top of the dryer and Tony, assuming Thor was playing a trick on him, dyed the anodises hair blue by putting chemicals into his shampoo. Bedlam ensued.

Charlie slams her empty cereal bowl down on the counter, forgoing the delicious bowl of sugary breakfast food in favour of cursing under her breath; exhausted after a long night of Clint firing LED arrows into her room from the vent above her bed (he is somewhat put out by her inadvertent help in Tony’s devious plan to hide all of his clothes). She is somewhat amused and also disturbed that he is scrambling around naked in the ceiling. 

_“I didn’t mean to Clint, he said they were his clothes, I don’t know where they went” She tried repeatedly_

_“I’m naked Charlie, your words mean nothing”_

_“I don’t need you to remind me Clint!”_

On and on the conversation repeated for hours, which is why she now finds herself tired, hungry and pissed off. The avengers can’t just have a normal battle during daytime hours, oh no, they have a week long, full on war where nobody is safe and there is nowhere to hide.

She plops herself down on the counter, not bothering to put the empty bowl away and has to resist the urge to cackle when Thor walks in, bright blue hair billowing behind him as his laboured footsteps match his mood. Banner trails slowly behind, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he heads straight towards the kettle without offering a greeting.

Charlie thinks that Thor pouting shouldn’t be nearly as adorable as it is. He sits at the kitchen counter, head resting in his palm.  She reaches over and pats his arm in solidarity just as Tony enters the kitchen; she glares at him, mumbling about cereal but he shoots the pair a smirk.

“Looking a little down there buddy, maybe feeling a little blue?”

“It’ll wash out, Thor” Assures Bruce, pouring steaming water into his mug before turning on his heels, beverage in hand to head back to the lab. He is halted in his attempts to leave by a thin layer of clear film covering the open elevator door. The scene unfolds in slow motion, laughter scattering the groups faces before turning to shock as the hot liquid spills its way down Bruce’s shirt and horror when his breathing picks up and his shirt starts to rip.

“Hey Big Guy, calm down” Natasha soothes, hands out in front of her just as Hulk swings around, his arm knocks the wall close to the elevator, chunks of brick and plaster cascading loudly to the floor. He roars, spittle shooting from his mouth as the veins underneath his green skin bulge and pop.

He takes a stamp forward, floor rattling underneath his feet as the group take up various positions; Charlie can see Tony fiddling with something quickly in the kitchen, attempting to suit up and Thor is moving behind Banner just as jolly green takes another swing, knocking glasses and bowls from the kitchen counter onto the floor.

She looks to Natasha, sees the confusion on her face, their interactions polite but limited since their brush at almost romance. The Hulk has always been tameable to her, but Bruce has been without incident for years now and she wonders if the hurt he feels is relatable to Hulk. Natasha backs up a few feet, slowly and calm but the hurt flashes across her face at the same time panic settles in her features.

“HULK!” Charlie screams, not thinking through her decision to step forward and try to grab his attention. Her feet tread on shards of broken glass as she edges forward slowly, hands up in front of her. He looks towards her, confusion settling in his brows for a second before he lashes out, giant hand coming into contact with her own, she lets out a sharp and sudden grunt but keeps herself steady as Thor’s leg shoots out to kick at the back of Hulks knees. Charlie tries to soothe, calming whispers aimed in his direction but his attention is lost to the oncoming attack.

She feels herself being pushed out of the way, landing on the floor with a dull thud next to Natasha as red and gold flash past her field of vision, knows Tony must have gotten a suit on and gotten her and Natasha to somewhere safer. They use the sofa as a shield, neither having the skills to take Hulk down and she makes a note to comfort her friend when this is over, the panic doing little to hide the sadness in the red heads eyes.

She looks on as Bucky’s metal arm comes into contact with Hulks stomach; the green flesh ripples under the impact as if she’s watching in slow motion. Bucky pulls his arm back painfully, shoulder popping loudly as Thor lands another kick, Tony flying around Hulks massive body like a fly; it confuses him, steals his attention long enough for more hits to land on his body as it starts to sway. He hits the floor with a loud bang, remaining glassware in the kitchen rattling against the counter top.

-

When they return from the medical bay three of Charlie’s fingers are clad in a bright Green surgical tape and Tony’s eating a cup of similarly covered Jell-O. They find the group waiting for them. Dull tones of scattered conversation halting as they enter.

“What were you thinking?” Bucky asks, barely giving them time to settle in as he pops up from the sofa to round on the pair. Tony attempts to answer around a mouth half full of Jell-O and spoon but Charlie cuts him off.

“I don’t really think I was” Half sarcastic and half out of it on painkillers. She rolls her eyes at him and balks inside her head that the drugs seem to have lowered her tolerance and inhibitions in equal measure. She stands stock still as he stand up, walking the short distance over to the pair with strong, purposefully strides, stopping in front of her.

“He could have killed you!” Bucky screams, muscles in his shoulders tensing as the veins in his neck pop. He’s livid, fire and rage that’s never been aimed at her before. She fights the urge to flinch, knows she is in the wrong, knows his anger comes from a place of very real worry in a very dangerous situation but she’s pretty sure the painkillers mean there’s a trace of smile still lingering on her face.

Bruce hangs his head in shame and Charlie squeezes past Bucky, meanders over to sit on the arm of his chair. She avoids Bucky’s glare.

“It’s not your fault Bruce” She whispers. The room is quiet enough that she knows the others have heard. “It’s mine, I’m sorry”

She watches Bucky flinch as she lays a hand on Bruce’s, leftover instinct to protect her thrumming its way through his veins even as the anger tries to wipe it out.

“I’m sorry Charlie, I broke you” Bruce’s voice is full of remorse

“It’s just…you know…slightly broken, but look I got green!” She smiles, holding her hand up to show him the neon green tape surrounding her fingers. Bruce raises a faint and false smile, just a small quirk of the side of his mouth before hanging his head back down.

“Is everything a joke to you?” Bucky asks, incredulous disbelief on his face.

“Funny things are” Tony and Charlie answer simultaneously.

“This isn’t even remotely funny” He sighs, not even bothering to look at her as he trudges out of the room.

“You pissed in his cornflakes”

“That is a disgusting expression Tony” She balks, using her good hand to smack him on the upper arm.

“Are you two going to be like this all evening?” Steve asks with a sigh, he swipes a hand over his face, glancing between the pair and the direction Bucky just left in.

“I mean, in my defence, I am on quite a few painkillers right now, Tony is just annoying”

“I’m pretty sure you all have secret meetings to discuss how annoying you find me”

“He’s not wrong” Natasha offers Steve with a shrug.

As if proving a point Tony starks poking a finger into his upper thigh, wincing every time he makes contact. He pulls the fabric of his slacks down, pointing to his slowly purpling butt cheek and Charlie has to wonder if she’s actually overdosed on painkillers and is, in fact lying in a bed somewhere having surreal dreams.

“Look, look at that bruise!”

“It’s a big bruise, I know, put your ass away Stark”

“It’s a great ass; I work very hard on it”

“I mean, objectively it’s a lovely ass Tony, but that doesn’t mean I want to see it”

“You know I have very little guilt over causing that bruise?” Bruce pipes up, Charlie beams at him, suddenly realising this is the first time he’s spoken since his unnecessary apology.

“If I show you it some more would that help?”

“In literally no way” Bruce deadpans, squirming back in his seat as Tony rushes at him, jeans still down.

“Charlie, you should go talk to Bucky”

She nods slowly.

“Yes, yes I should” She resigns, deciding that she’s going to blame the drugs in her system for the fact she instead goes back to her apartment.

-

“Can I come in?” He asks, despite the fact he’s already mostly in the room and very obviously has no intention of leaving.

“Sure” She gestures a hand inside the apartment and closes the door behind him, waiting until she hears the springs on the bed creak before turning to face him from her spot on the couch. When it’s apparent he’s not going to say anything she holds her hand up.

“Kiss it better” She says, small smile on her face hoping to break the tension in the room. She’s so used to fighting with Tony, and not fighting with Andrew that she’s actually out of practice with solving problems like a grown up, apologising without sarcasm or humour. She makes a note to blame Stark for that later but knows she’ll scrap it and face the blame that rightly lies with her.

“No”

“Please?”

“I’m mad at you”

She sighs, shifting until one leg is under the other and an arm rests on the back of the couch

“I’m sorry, I know it wasn’t funny, but it’s not like you didn’t join in, I know you know where Clint’s clothes are”

“You think I’m mad about the pranks?”

“You’re not?”

“I’m mad because you tried to distract Banner whilst he was hulking out” He says as though it should be obvious, confusion takes over her face and he realises she genuinely sees nothing wrong with what she did, that it’s just natural instinct to put herself in harms way to try and protect them. He runs a hand over his face “Christ Charlie, I thought he was gonna kill you”

She moves from her seat, coming to sit next to him on the bed as she folds her legs beneath her, leaning forward to wrap her arms around his stiff shoulders. 

“I’m sorry” She whispers against the skin of his neck.

“No you’re not”

She sighs, pulling her head away from his skin to look at him, his face still turned in front of him, gaze settled on the skirting board.

“I thought you were angry that I’d helped Tony pull pranks, I know how worried I get when you’re on a mission, I’m sorry you were worried, but I’m not sorry I did it, I’d do anything to protect you all”

“You’re not trained” He reasons, jaw clenching as he ticks over her words. He knows he can’t hold a grudge over something any one of them would, and have done for the others but he can see Hulk swinging at her replaying in his head.

“I know”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you” He whispers, finally turning his head to nuzzle his mouth against her forehead.

“It’s okay”

“It’s not, I’m sorry. You still want me to kiss it better?” He asks, lifting her injured hand gently and pecking feather light kiss to her bandaged fingertips.

 


End file.
